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On Norms of Urbanity in the Table, Which Are Still in Force or Should

Civility at the table.On Civility Rules at the Table, Which Are Still in Force or Should On Civility Rules at the Table, Which Are Still in Force or Should

Indispensable trait of education in all subjects of distinguished birth.

Contains

A definition of true civility, with the art of carving all kinds of food, the way to serve them properly, and the particular documents of what should be observed at the table.

For instruction

Of the Spanish youth,

Who is it dedicated to?

SECOND EDITION

MADRID MDCCXCV

In the office of Mr. Blas Román

It will be found in the Escribano Bookstore, Calle de las Carretas

The connotations of the term “civility” (from the Latin civilitas) that the author extensively develops in chapters I and II, would not be out of place today, in the 21st century; perhaps with a small update, depriving them of that reverential respect towards the powerful or of greater social status (it was the end of the 18th century, reigning Carlos IV). But, essentially, they would be advisable in current times. According to the author, civility... is nothing other than "the modesty and honesty that each one must keep in their words and actions."

And he goes on to say: “… I consider that to establish the rules of true civility, it was only necessary to deduce those of decency; because this is nothing other than a certain modesty and modesty, which must accompany all our actions. I am very much afraid that modesty is a virtue absent in our social behaviors. Synonymous with simplicity, humility, sobriety or moderation, it has been "swept away" by pretentious, petulant, arrogant or arrogant behaviors (and very rude).

After a long dissertation, the author concludes: “…modesty is, then, the effect of humility founded on charity, just as the decency of our actions is the effect of modesty”. Humility, charity and decency in our actions that is not abundant either, in fact, they are almost in disuse.

He goes on in chapter III to the norms of civility at the table, civility that we would translate today as urbanity, civility and good manners. Some of these norms today would cause a smile, to say the least, and were outdated either by technical advances or by the moderation of the differences between social classes, but they had reasons for being at the time and have been the subject of extensive studies on the customs and their meaning by historians. This is the case, for example:

On Urban Norms at the Bureau, That Are Still In Force Or Should

"If a person of character makes you stay to eat, you should not wash with her, unless she expressly orders it, in which case, if the servant is not ready to serve the towel, you should serve it"

That gesture of washing hands was a custom inherited from the Middle Ages, loaded with symbology, as indicated by Dr. Almudena Blasco, from the Autonomous University of Barcelona in her study CALLING THE WATER AS A POETIC EXPERIENCE IN MEDIEVAL CULTURE. "Custom linked to the symbolic use of water, which has close relations with the liturgical and biblical tradition, is approached here (in this study) as a characteristic element of chivalrous society."

Continuing with “people of character”, understood as those of greatest social importance, our manual recommends:

“If a superior person in character serves you a dish, you must admit it so as not to snub him; but if you have such repugnance that you can absolutely eat it, you will give the dish to the servant surreptitiously so that he does not notice it.

Obviously today it will not be the most usual thing to find ourselves in our host's house with a servant to whom we can give the dish that we secretly do not like. And if there is, the host will have other resources to solve the problem. With everything and with that, it still seems very ugly to me to reject food that you do not like when you are invited to a house. It's not that hard to make the effort. And appeals to allergies, intolerances, "veganism" and other similar excuses are often noticed when they are false. Only the host, who does have education, will ignore them...

In a matter of drink, for example, this recommendation is completely comical...

“You must also take care not to make noise with your throat; nor sigh loudly, finishing drinking in action of being tired ". We are not Obelix...

Or this one, also related to drinking… (and more)

“You must not offer the glass that has already been served to you for any reason: neither will you clean your teeth during the meal, nor even afterward, if you are in front of a person of compliance, much less with a knife or fork, nor shall you rinse your mouth in the presence of people of respect.” Cleaning your teeth in public, not with a knife, nor Obelix, but with a toothpick or a poor napkin, is still quite common, unfortunately, even in people of the highest social "status". The gesture is absolutely unforgivable, it should have been banished centuries ago. You put up with it, or you discreetly absent if the annoyance were unbearable.

Jokes aside, some of those rules maintain, more than two centuries later, their full validity:

“It is very impolitic that you present your plate with the desire to be served first, or take anything, without first serving the people with the greatest respect and decoration”. Decorations aside, prudence is always a virtue.

"Nor shall you pass your arm over any dish to serve yourself from the one that is further away, but make it change, and have a servant bring you the one you want." Ok, okay, there may not be a servant to ask, but never cross your arm over anything (and even less over anyone), ask the closest polite person for anything.

“You must take care not to eat quickly, no matter how hungry you are, closing your lips, so as not to eat like brutes”. Well, that leaves the Obelix mode for the comics. Especially if you have an ambassador by your side (or you are at the request of your future bride).

“It is necessary to be very careful not to get dirty when taking the food to the mouth, nor to lean too much over the plate”. Swallowing in animal feeder mode can even disrupt your wedding plans with the aforementioned...

To finish, a recommendation taken from Julio Camba's book La Casa de Lúculo, with its characteristic irony (which I make my own):

“When you want to be invited back to a house because of the abundance of food you have found in it, say when you say goodbye:

Although perhaps we should recover the spirit of the 18th century...

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